I know.....

I haven't blogged in a few weeks. This has been mentioned to me more than once by quite a few people. I have had a lot to ponder and I have been busy. I have made some life changing decisions though.

1) I am putting the kids in public school in 3 weeks. I have homeschooled them for a long time. Sure they went to public school last year in SC for the first time. When I put them in school, I assumed I would never homeschool again. Then we found out Mike was getting transferred. I figured it would be best for us to homeschool again. Turns out, it really isn't for the best. I am glad I did it for the first part of the year. It made our move less stressful and I had some time to ease the kids into the move. But I am bored to tears. I want to do other things. Frankly, I think the kids will be happier in school too. They say they won't.....but geez. They have barely met any kids. I am not sure how to get them to meet lots of kids. This way they can have lives of their own. Especially my 13 year old.

So we have a trip planned to Michigan next week to visit my dad. The week after that they are supposed to be with their dad (dad is on vacation.) That next week, I will be putting them in school.

It took me a bit to work that out. Realizing and admitting, I just don't like the homeschool thing like I used to. A lot has happened in my life since I last homeschooled. I am just different now. I am not really happy with it, if I am truly honest. So I think it is better for all of us if I do this.

Mike, who knows me better than I thought, figured this may work out like it has. He thinks it is best for all of us too. So off to school they will go!

2) My theology. What a mess that has been. Ever since my trip to Israel a few years ago, my theology has changed. My views on the church has changed. I used to my Miss Church. Was there everytime the doors were open....shoot I had the keys to the church and ran it with the pastor. Then things changed for me as I began to question church doctrine. While that is great for the typical person, it was not so great for me.....a Bible College Student. Unless you have known me for many years, you probably don't know this little fact.

I am a senior in Bible college.

I got so upset about the theology differences and frankly the church was AWFUL to me during my divorce (another story another time), that I just stopped. I stopped studying. Stopped going to church.

A couple of years later, I barely recall why I disagree with the theology. I have moved to NC where I am not known for my theology. I can go to church without the divorce situation.

And, I have to be involved with a church to finish my degree.

The degree I keep putting off.

It's time for me to finish. I have until 2016 to finish. I always knew I would. Who gets as far as I have and stops. That is silly to me. So I will suck it up now and finish. I will be done in the spring.

Now with the kids in school, I have time to do the work. I think my theology will still end up being different. At least, at this point, I am so far removed from studying theology that it may be a little while before I get disgusted with the church (as a whole) not answering the many questions I used to have. I have no doubt, those questions will come to me again. Hopefully after I finish the theology degree so that I can finish the classes without wanting to be sick because I feel they are teaching me falsehoods that I ask about and am told I am being difficult because I ask.

3) I am going to take the GRE. I got the study aids yesterday. I plan to take it in January or February. After years of not being near that level math, I figure I need the few months to prepare.

4) I am looking at grad school to become a Marriage and Family Therapy. It is something I have thought about doing for years. I now have the time to do it. So I am looking at that path now. I am hitting a few roadblocks as to figure out what school to go to, etc. If I am supposed to be on that path, those roadblocks will work out. I can't seem to find a school in the area that offers that degree, so I would have to do it online. Which is fine and I can do it. I prefer to go to class though.

So....those are some big changes in my life. Things I have pondered for a couple of weeks. I am now ready to announce those changes and tell everyone those are the new paths I am pursuing.

So, good, bad, or indifferent.....that is what is going on.

It Worked Out =)

I don't know why or how, but the kid's dad texted and told me to go ahead and put them in basketball. He said we will work out the visitation later. After I researched it, I realized it would only be for 8 weeks (so 4 weeks were going to be a problem!)


So I am happy that I found something that I can put the kids in.


A bit surprised that he did not complain more, but hey....I will take it. Even better, he texted, so I have proof that he sent it. He typically tells me things and then later screams at me saying he never said (whatever) it was.


So the boys will be going to a basketball "skills" assessment thing this weekend so they can join the league!

Meanwhile, I am having this problem with the camp Josh was in back in Columbia before we moved. They autodrafted my checking account weekly for camp, the week BEFORE he was going. I signed up for 6 weeks. I signed him up for random weeks, but they drafted my account for 6 consecutive weeks since he was going 6 weeks over the summer.

They drafted the 6 weeks. I have been done paying them for 6 weeks. Heck, Josh hasn't gone in over a month.

Last week, they drafted my account again.

I politely emailed and told them there was an error. I want my $90 back.

I got a response saying they saw he only went 5 out of 6 weeks, so I still owed them. Of course I replied with the fact that I have bank records showing that I paid every week for 6 weeks. He did miss one full week I signed up for, but I still paid for it as I had said I would.

I am a bit anal about my check book. I will look for an hour for the 3 cents I lost. I am just like that LOL. So I KNOW what it is and is not right about my checkbook.

Never heard back from them.

I wasn't too thrilled, but the camp was through the Boys and Girls Club. It is a good organization. I figured I would let it go. They can have the $90 as a donation.

Until this week, when they drafted me again!!!

I was REALLY mad then. I emailed again, telling them it is illegal to keep taking money from someone's checking account without consent and they do NOT have my consent. I want the entire $180 back NOW. (I am not so friendly with the donation now LOL.)

No response.

So, I found the website and found the Vice President of Finance. I emailed THAT guy my situation. Told him I have tried emailing the address that told me I was drafted. I got one reply and none since.

I am thinking that guy can do something about this mess.

I also suspect whoever has decided to just ignore my emails MAY have some explaining to do.

Most importantly, I think I will get my $180 back!

Well, I better get my $180 back LOL. As a former banker, I know there are things the bank can do to force the issue. I hate going that route, but my connections at the bank will sort this out if I don't see the money pretty quick like.

Who am I kidding? At least a response from the organization would be a grand start at this point!!!

Bethany v/s The Boys and Girls Club of America!

Gotta love that!

First Custody Issue

Since I homeschool the kids, it is tougher for them to meet other kids. They both LOVE basketball, so I figured if I could find a basketball league for them it would make this move easier.

Well I found one today. They have to show up for a skills assessment this weekend. Practice is one time a week with games on Saturday's. Perfect. I think they would enjoy it.

So I was quite pleased with this until I remembered....uhuh. They are supposed to be in Columbia with their dad every other Saturday. No way can they sign up and miss every other game.

I figured their dad, who really was never an active father and doesn't do a lot with them, will work with me on this for the couple of months of basketball season.

So I call him.

He bitched at me. "I WILL be seeing my kids on my weekends."

"I know that and I am not trying to take them from you. But you know the kids love sports. They would enjoy this."

"There is NO way I am driving up to Charlotte for this every time on my weekends."

"I didn't say you had to. Maybe we can work it out, some weeks I will just drive them to you. Maybe some weeks you would want to see your kids play and you can come. Other weeks, we can meet in the middle."

(Let me point out...I hate the meeting option. He is always late. Jerks us around with the time, place, etc. So we try to avoid that. As of now, the plan is for me to drive the kids all the way to Columbia on his Friday's during the day and he brings them all the way to my place Sunday nights.)

He then had the nerve to tell me he doesn't like this because it is such an inconvenience to him.

"This is NOT about you. It is about the boys. You know as well as I do that they will want to do this. I love the kids but I also value my weekends off especially since I am with them all the time homeschooling. However, I will sacrifice because this is best for them."

"I don't like it. Find out what time the games will be and I will decide."

"You don't find out the times of the games til they sign up and are assigned a team."

"Well, I will think about it. I will call you later tonight to discuss it."

"Mike, the kids and I have plans, so I will call you when we are done."

Slimy bastard. Spends thousands on his friggin hobbies....can't even buy beds for his kids to sleep in while they are in the house that we all lived in. He turned one of their old rooms into a workout room....makes them sleep on the floor and a horribly uncomfortable couch....and now is going to attempt to block them from doing things here because it is "inconvenient" for HIM. This from a man who barely went to any of their games when I was married to him. He stayed in bed on Saturdays and I took the kids to their games. Every now and then he would go....if it was a late game mind you. So...really, I shouldn't be surprised. Always puts himself above everything else. Gee...could it be why I am not married to him anymore LOL.

Sadly, as I sit here....if I told the kids....hey you can play basketball, but you would not see your dad for 2 months....or give up basketball and still see dad....

They would choose basketball. Heck, they have said if something happens to me....they want to stay with Mike.

Ah....this is the bad part of moving. And it is only the beginning. We have years of the kids making other plans and him getting ticked off and trying to make it tough.

Don't get me wrong. He is their dad. I want him to see his kids. But geez....work with us a little. He drives all of the time for the hour and half to see his girlfriend and her kids in Greenville. Can't do it for his own kids.

Sad. It is just sad.

9 more years of custody issues and then I am done LOL.

The Move, The Secret, and My First Outing

Having been in Columbia for most of my adult life, I have to tell you....I definitely took somethings for granted. It is so strange moving and having no idea where you are. It is the little things.....which side of the road do you need to be on to get back on the highway? Which side of town is the "not so good side?" What is the news channel that everyone watches? (WIS in Columbia ;) What is the radio station? (I miss Steve FM ;p). Is there a Vista type place here that is not in downtown Charlotte or is downtown Charlotte the Vista place here? (I guess the Epicenter is that type of place in Charlotte.) Where can I go to get my haircut without it being cut so bad I cry for a week? What are the good local bands to go listen to? Where is the Corner Pocket here? And more importantly, does that Corner Pocket have a drinking club with a reading problem LOL.

Mike said he had the benefit of me when he moved to Columbia. You know we met a week after he moved there and were inseparable from the getgo....so I showed him anything he needed to know. Now, we are both here.....no clue LOL. I guess it is no clue together, so that makes it better =)

I gather it just takes time to learn all of this. I have to wonder when it will be more like home though. How long does that take? A month? 6? A year?? At what point do you associate yourself more with where you are then where you came from????

So, The Secret.

I had heard about this book, but never got around to getting it and reading it. While moving, Mike found it in his stash of books. I guess someone gave it to him. He said it seemed like a book I would read. You know, the self help, analyze your life to death sort of thing LOL. So I read it by the pool Tuesday and Wednesday. (I am a fast reader and it was a quick read.) Pretty interesting concept. I think it is basic psychology, but it is easy to forget the basics when life gets in the way.

The gist....whatever your thoughts are focused on that is what will happen. I guess sort of self fulfilling prophecy. If you focus on negative, you will bring negative to your life. Then the reverse is true. It says you can think yourself into being rich, thin, etc. I am not quite sure about that part. However, the thinking yourself into happiness despite the situation you are in. That I can grab onto. When you realize that YOU control your own happiness and do not depend on others to give it to you, I think that unlocks many things in your life. Sure many situations suck, but you can learn to be content despite the situation. Take the lessons you need so that you can move on.

Shoot...that whole theory got me out of the crappy abusive marriage I was in (well that and a lot of money on therapy ;) But it also got me what I wanted. I knew what kind of guy I wanted and what I expected out of a relationship (something I had no clue about when I was young, stupid and married to my ex). I got everything down to every little detail. Knowing what I wanted, expecting no less, settling for no less....and I now have the fabulous Mike to show for it.

Hmmm....maybe you can think your way into good relationship. I rubbed the genie lamp of life and Mike came. If I can rub that genie lamp and win the lotto.....I will try and let you all know ;)

My Outing.....I think the real miracle here is that I found the place and returned home without getting lost. I had no need for GPS in SC since I knew where things were. Mike insisted I would need it here, so he got me the GPS thing. Damn thing had a "lost signal." So the piece of crap would not direct me. It had the directions on the screen, but wasn't telling me where and when to turn. Shoot....I could have mapquested and printed the friggin directions for that. I was less than thrilled with GPS at that point.

After a couple of "Damn....turned to soon. How do I get back?" I figured it out. Not only that, but I got there early and first. You know me.....punctual. I have to be punctual. So I was pleased with myself for having no clue where I was, without much help from GPS, and still got there a little early.

So friggin early in fact, I wasn't sure I was at the right place. Where were all of the cars? Eh....turned out I am just really anal about being a little early, so I got there before most people. Well, everyone except Erica....but it was her house =)

Regardless, I can report back that yes Vodka is cool with the group. As a matter of fact preferred. So that is good news ;) I am thinking I should have worn the elf hat too....you know dive right in, but decided against it. Have to wait for Chris to come to town next weekend so Huntersville can get the full effect of the Elf Hat Posse! (Kidding.....kind of.....)

Side note: Mike and I went to the Irish Fest in Charlotte last weekend. I said to Mike, "Hey, I can wear my elf hat!" Mike said, "I am not sure about that. Those people may think you are making fun of them and we don't want to get our asses kicked out first weekend in Charlotte."

Hmmm....good point.

So we go.

Damnit.

Should have wore the elf hat. Most of those people were so drunk, I would have fit right in with my elf hat. Hell...I would have been the hit of Charlotte with that bad boy on! But, I was tired, hurting from unpacking, and just plain exhausted. Really wasn't in an elf hat mood. So next year.....Irish fest in Charlotte....the elf hat goes.

Frankly, I think Mike is hoping that hat will just disappear someday LOL. Chris and I worked long and hard to get those hats though......for those that don't know....the elf hat thing is a huge family joke and a funny ass story I will have to share. Here is a link to my brother and me in our hats though......

Elf Hat Posse Come on, tell me those things aren't cool LOL.

So back to the outing. Everyone was right. Bunco is really easy to play. Not that I was any good, mind you =)

It was grand meeting new people. A bit strange as I have no idea where I am, so when they talk about places, schools, etc....I have no idea LOL. I guess after hearing those things repeatedly in different situations, I will eventually catch on. With that, and all of the names. I suspect over the next few months as my head spins with all of this new info, I will be apologizing a lot for forgetting names. I am thinking all of that will click into place soon enough as well.

I guess the big thing was that I had moved here less than a week and was all ready out and about looking for people and things. Some were rather impressed with this. Shoot....that is just me though. Dive right in and find the adventures. I will never learn about the area or meet people if I don't dive in. So good, bad or indifferent, I will just dive in ;)

Liked the women, seemed like a fun group (and as I pointed out....if vodka is good with them, how bad can it be LOL.) So I will definitely do bunco again.

As for now....if I can figure out what lane to get into to get back on the highway just for my exit....I will be ok. Maybe that is my goal for today. Learn that, so it is second nature ;)

Baby steps, right?

Fantasy Football and Bunco

Mike has played Fantasy Football with his family for awhile now. Last year he did not, because he had moved from Illinois to the south. He was also busy with work.

This year someone dropped out of the league, so his brother repeatedly asked Mike to join. Mike kept saying no due to the distance and he is still really busy with the move.

Now I know that until the move to SC, Mike had lived near (within a few hours) of his family for his entire life. He had been doing this with his brother until he moved. I wanted to encourage Mike to do what he could with his family. This would force him to interact with his brother fairly often, thus helping their relationship since Mike can't see his brother as often as he used to. I kept telling Mike to do the league.

His brother gave one final call to Mike. I told Mike if he did it, I would help him. We would do it together.

Mike agreed.

Now I know nothing about professional football. So this requires me learning it. But, it gives Mike something to do besides work and his hobby of me LOL. I wanted Mike to have something....

So I will be busy this week trying to figure out who the players are because the "draft" is this Friday night. I guess Mike and I are going to join via phone. Should be interesting ;)

As for Bunco....I have never played that either. I had heard it was a lot of fun and always meant to look into it while in Columbia. Didn't get around to it.

So I move here and stumble upon Huntersville moms that play Bunco once a month. So I am going tonight. I have never played, really have no clue....but they have assured me it is easy and I will be fine.

I have not met any of these women yet. It gets a little tricky. We are supposed to bring an appetizer and a drink to share. Appetizer, no problem. I will throw something together.

The drink is a problem though. I have ran into this before LOL. What do you take? I have never met these people. Is it a Sprite sort of drink or vodka sort? Take sprite and they meant booze....I look like a chump. Take the booze and they all have vodka....I look like a friggin lush!

Oh what to do LOL.

I have 7 hours to figure it out. I will let you all know how it works out.

I will either be known as "that lush of a homeschooling mom" or "boring no drinking homeschool mom." Which is worse?

You all know me....boring isn't in my vocabulary LOL.

Wish me luck!